


Thank you

by WinnowingBananas



Category: Red Rising - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Family, Fluff, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2019-09-03
Packaged: 2020-10-05 18:16:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20493146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinnowingBananas/pseuds/WinnowingBananas
Summary: AU: Eo is the Reaper and as war seemed to calm down, she has some time to spend with her fiancee, Mustang. Now is better than ever for Eo to present Virginia to the son she has with her late-husband, Darrow, as a chance for her to finally put and end to suffering and mourn.





	Thank you

It might not be over, but the bad and the good were already being settled. Whatever will follow ahead, it will be only the shadow, a glimpse, of what we already achieved - and our actions will reverberate for centuries.  
  
But even when we gathered our time to close the eyes of each of the dead, we still missed someone - no. Not us. I should've snapped out of this mentality a long time ago. That everything is a we situation, when it is not - the dead that watches over my life needs to be put at rest. And I am the only one who can do it.  
  
Even if Virginia tells me that she will be there, even when she remains at the threshold when I beg her to leave. Even if her gaze remains, as both a caress and a supervisor. I've been through so much that this one thing... saying my goodbyes... it shouldn't be anything. But it is, hungrier and harsher than the touch of a whip. And Virginia knows - she knows everything. She lost so many and had to face the aftermath, even sealed her last moments in peace, without asking anyone's help.  
  
Virginia is power. My power.  
  
So I let her to assist. It might be easier for both of us to handle this - I know I won't drown, if she is there to catch me. And I couldn't trust anyone to blast me to the surface, aside of my wife.  
  
She lurks like a thin shadow, her steps making so little sound. I know she can be louder, if she wants to, but she doesn't want to rattle me from the places I've sinken into. Or that she can be even more quiet, but she won't do it, afraid of me losing the track of the path I've took, in search of her again. She wants me to know that is there, for anything I will need, but won't be more than an observer if that's what I desire - I don't know what I desire. I don't know her position in this equation, why I yearned so much for her presence when I say my goodbyes to the one that once meant to me love, when I didn't even know what it really was.  
  
Perhaps I want her to meet him. To meet Darrow, now clear, uncorrupted of the image given by my lenses. Him, as how he was. I don't know how that will work, if she will ever be able to truthfully see him, meet him, understand him - or rather, the glimpse that remained of him. I don't even know if she truly wants to meet him, if his memory might tension her, or embarrass her. I can't afford making her feel uncomfortable, but she won't go - she thinks that only saying that she can bare it, means it will do her any good.  
  
,,Your pain is my pain, too, Eo." She tells me, squeezing my shoulder.   
  
,,I don't want you to feel any pain." I tell her, bringing her hand near my mouth. ,,You don't deserve it."  
  
,,Neither you do." She responds, now kneeling next to me. ,,War is dangerous, Eo. And you know that whatever we did, there is still a need of more. Of me and you - we can't function if we are vulnerable, we can't fight for others when we are drowning in our own inner battles. We can't be lead by our feelings, especially not pain."  
  
,,But I give you mine." I whisper, but her smile - so bright, the sun beam blessing my sight - it shuts me down.  
  
,,We are splitting it in two. A part for me, a part for you and together, we will bring it to an end. Together, Eo. Together."  
  
She stands up, ready to back off and leave me there, in the corner of a shadow, to contemplate, but I don't want her to leave - if she will let me to choose, I will choose to sew my mouth, to keep my pain away, and then, everything she is trying to prevent so much will become a reality in which no one wins. I will be swimming through demons and demons, never reach the end of their visit - but if she will be there...  
  
I will finally leave them behind. And we will thrive.

Even if ration tells me how unfair it is.  
  
,,No." I tell her, making her froze in place.  
  
She looks at me. Golden eyes flickering in the low light - so precious, so natural. And they leave me speechless. I clutch my hand on the pole of my cloth, rustle it between my fingers.  
  
,,I want you to stay." I say, barely daring to look in her eyes. ,,Now. I want to...share my pain, if you are willing to listen."  
  
It sounds so unfair. Share my pain. I once did, and it lead to his death. I once did, and I had to leave my child behind. I thought I was so entitled, I demanded ears to open for my thoughts to flow.  
  
But it helped so many, also.  
  
And Virginia seems to only think about it, when she sits besides me. Our thighs touch in the closeness between us. Her smile wraps the good in me, makes the bad and the ugly to rattle and be left to root, until it will vanish entirely.  
  
,,I am always willing for you." She tells me and I prop my head to her shoulder.  
  
,,I...I don't know how to start."  
  
,,The beginning. Which one is closer to your mind."  
  
Her hand runs through my hair, soft, first only her fingertips asking for my consent and then, her entire palm going through the mass of gold replacing the rustiness I once had.  
  
,,First...I...I think I should go rusty back."  
  
Virginia rises her eyebrow.  
  
,,Rusty? Not a fashion trend, anymore, I would say."  
  
,,I can settle one."  
  
,,Can the Reaper also set fashion trends? The almighty, fashion disaster?"  
  
I laugh. She only smiles, though still fearful. Tension is lurking through the gold rings glancing at me.  
  
,,Only a fashion disaster because you don't understand me." I mutter, smile wide spread on my face, but it is so weak - I feel the corner of my mouth demanding to be left to fall.  
  
,,By Jove, I would've lost my mind if I ever tried to understand your fashion sense."  
  
And I chuckle again, now warmer than before. She lets her hand to rest on my shoulder and brings me closer to her. I accept it. In fact - I was looking for it, through the coldness of my innards.  
  
,,Okay, so rusty hair. What else?"  
  
I duck my lips. My mind doesn't settle in one place, but now, with her hand securing me, help me stay still in the lighter place of my brain.  
  
,,I think..."  
  
But this is where my mind cools down, until it freezes, falls into the traps and cracks of an icy place. And my whole body becomes owned by the creep brought by nescience and fear.  
  
,,I think I...don't know."  
  
I never asked myself what will come, after everything will be achieved.  
  
,,Let me suggest you something, then." She tells me.  
  
But she did. She asked herself and many other people.  
  
,,Tell me what you see, when you think about it."  
  
_It_.  
  
She doesn't know what I am having on my mind. Or she does, but won't never dare to assume - gives me the chance of meeting it myself.  
  
What is it?  
  
The question she wants to milk out of me. She might have the answer, she always does, but is unfair to rely on her mind and her mind only, when I have my own and mouth to unleash each thought.  
  
,,Regret." I say, not sure if we are still talking about Darrow or not.  
  
In fact, I was never sure if this was about Darrow. Or about Lykos. Or about my father, who killed himself, clogged in grief.  
  
It might've not be about anything at all, or everything altogether. But, whatever it was ever about, I only felt one thing.  
  
,,Regret... is it all?" She asks me.  
  
My soul and mind burns together. If I didn't know what she was trying to do, I would call her ruthless.  
  
,,I don't know."I whisper.  
  
,,You do."  
  
My eyes get teary - as they didn't do in so long. But she is faster than me, she wipes my tears with the back of her hand.  
  
,,How are you so sure?" I ask her.  
  
The woman that is never wrong - she might be wrong now, to stick with me.  
  
,,Because you are my fiancee." She mutters to me, heart open for me and only me.  
  
In this moment, when our faces are so close and eyes sipping from the gaze of one another's, world shrieked in size. And it is only us, as the Vale.  
  
,,And my intuition is never fooled by my heart."  
  
,,Maybe now you are just crazy in love."  
  
She smiles.  
  
,,I was also crazy in love when I won a war."  
  
I grab her hand, squeeze it in my palm, eager to find the power buzzing beneath her skin. The force I need. I look down, at her skin like velvet.  
  
,,I feel like it is my fault." I say, now not sure if I speak to her or to me. ,,They died...so many. I never thought about death...I never saw them dying in my dream."  
  
And I pause, afraid to continue, but she gives me an impetus.  
  
,,And, if this is not bad enough, I also...also avoided thinking about them. I didn't give them a funeral. Never said the last words to sky. Never...never thought about how they look with their eyes closed - everytime I thought about Darrow...or about...dad...I..."  
  
I want to look up. I want to find her eyes, but I am too embarrassed, of my own truth.  
  
,,You saw them being alive?"  
  
My eyes get filled with tears, stinking harder than any gorydamned wound.  
  
,,It was easier, Virginia." I respond, as she would judge me - as her tone would suggest anything but pure, raw pity. ,,Much easier." I then continue, now whispering.  
  
I hunch, drained by fear and embarrassment.  
  
,,They were alive and happy, proud, even, but that was what I wanted to think about them." My joints are trembling on her skin. ,,I wanted to know they are proud of what I did. They are not mad that I became a killer - but I monopolized their feelings. I forced them to become something they are not."  
  
She runs a hand on my back, the other letting to be squeezed by mine as much as I desire. Even if our love binds us so close to one another, there are still things she doesn't understand. How in my eyes, father and Darrow are still alive and how, the thought of Vale lurks so real, that it makes me believe that they are actually looking down at me.  
  
,,I am too afraid to know what they are actually thinking..."  
  
,,But what are they seeing?" She asks me and I lift my eyes, surprised. ,,If they are looking down now at you."  
  
My lip tremble and I bite it hard, to keep it still.  
  
,,Me." I respond. ,,And you."  
  
,,Peace." She tells me. ,,They see peace. Don't forget that we brought this image to their eyes, Eo. You did it."  
  
,,But what was the price?" I ask, my voice shaking under the pression of my own words.  
  
,,Death and life wash one another."  
  
,,I don't even understand what that means."  
  
She clicks her tongue and stands up, now kneeling in front of me.  
  
,,It wrecks me every time to think about every single corpse I've saw falling, but then, I look around and I see children. Elders. Men and women - they are happy. And free. Both, finally being able to coexist. This is the world your dad and Darrow sees from the Vale." She brings her face nearer, props her forehead to mine. ,,This is the world you gave them the chance to see."  
  
And our eyes sizzle when they meet, my heart melts and drips from the straps holding it still. The woman of my dreams, who taught me what love really meant, above the one they taught kids in the mines - my other half.  
  
She believes in me.  
  
,,They are not mad at you. I repeat, for you clogged, stubborn ears. They are not mad at you, Eo."  
  
My voice is so small compared to her imposing one. She makes me feel so little, just as she did first time I saw her - a natural Gold, facing an artificial one, with a rusty soul. But she gives me all her love. All her understanding.  
  
,,Now you can also read the dead." I tell her, corners of my mouth rising a bit.  
  
,,I can do anything." She tells me.  
  
And I grab both of her hands.  
  
,,You really can."  
  
I kiss her, in my attempt to forget all and diminish the bad. She gives me that chance, she deepens in the kiss I launched, but she knows it is not over - I know it, too, but I let the thought to weaken in those moments. Seconds. Or minutes.  
  
And, when our lips are parting from the kiss, I look in her eyes, with a mind a bit clearer than before.  
  
I know I will never be able to commemorate an ending in one day. And I know the debt I have with Darrow is not over, the apologize I have to tell dad is not yet properly laid, but there is a huge step that has to be done.  
  
,,I want you to meet my son." I tell her.  
  
Her expression changes. For a second, it becomes something so cold, it freezes my spine. In wait for her words, I feel overwhelmed by regret - regret becomes fear. I want to apologise when she backs off and gets up, turning her back at me.  
  
,,Virginia..." I start, but I am too weak.  
  
It is too early.  
  
Too early.  
  
But when she turns back at me, her expression says otherwise.  
  
,,It would be a honor to meet your son."  
  
My heart warms and now, it doesn't beat regular. It beats with flames. I leap in her arms and for a moment, she doesn't know what to do, but intuition speaks. She wraps her hands around me and we stay still, famished by love and safety combined.  
  
*  
  
Liam is only seven, named after my brother. My son and Darrow's. A boy with rusty messy hair, thick and unkempt. Virginia only saw him, probably once or twice tried to talk to him, but didn't dare much - she waited for the right moment, in which I would introduce one another.  
  
But it is a daunting task. Even I feel as a stranger around Liam, the boy I held in my womb for so many weeks, but which I barely had the chance of holding in my hands. When I launched in this life, I was yearning for more, but now, unleashed in the more I recalled, all I want is to hold him close.  
  
Liam is an understanding kid, beyond his age, like a wise man hiding behind his child eyes. He was reluctant, but never reproachful. And he gave me a chance, when I felt like no one would be willing to, along with the woman I love.  
  
Now, the most important beams of light in my life will meet.  
  
,,He is beautiful." Virginia tells me, as we watch him from behind the glass. ,,He looks like you."  
  
But I never saw it. I always thought he looks like Darrow, more than he looks like me, but hearing it from her mouth... it warms me up inside.  
  
,,Come." I tell her and she follows me, reluctant.  
  
Almost seeming scared, when we enter. Sevro lifts his eyes when we approaches, the grin on his face vanishing quick - way too quick than expected. It seems like our poor-spirited expressions don't send the best vibe, so I smile. Virginia does as well, but it looks much more like a grin than a full-baked smile, of a relaxed woman. Liam clutches his little hands on Sevro's shirt and drags him down, muttering something unclear, that Ares Jr. seems to understand better than any of our entreaties. 

,,It seems like momma Reaper finally thought about showing up!'' He says, after whispering something back to Liam. 

Liam jerks in his place, his fluffy hair bouncing in the air. 

,,Mommy!'' He calls, leaping to me with hands open. 

I froze in place, unsure of what I should do now. I am so used to beg for a hug from him, that seeing him doing everything on his own is like a miracle I just prayed for, without doing any actual preparation. Virginia's smile melted from lethargy and became real, as I hug my son tightly. 

,,I can't lie, staying with this devil really made my ass feel sore.'' 

I exchange gazes with him, mine being less than unfriendly. Liam is amused and chuckles, with his face buried in my shirt. 

,,Don't look at me with that face, Reaper, you know gorydamn well that I could've said other places and teach your devil son some anatomy.'' 

,,So nice of you.'' I say, then kneel down in front of my son. 

He seems so tall now, I chuckle to myself, as I am taking his hands in mine. Soon, he will grow, but it won't make much of a difference - Mickey's craft on me did wonders. Ones I now damn for being so good. Even if in my memory, Darrow lurks as being the tall and sturdy man I've expected to rattle the world, I know he wasn't much compared to the Gold warriors carved from supremacy and war. Thus, I don't expect Liam to be more than his Color birthed, but now Colors has fallen and differences will not clatter a mother from her place.

,,I want you to meet someone.'' 

And this is the milestone to that - the living proof that Colors has, indeed, fallen. Virginia steps in, gracious as ever, squat down to the kid looking at her through straws of wavy hair. 

,,She is Virginia. My...'' But I stop and rise my gaze to hers. 

Her eyes will tell me what to do - give me the advice I need. She puts a hand on my shoulder and I understand. We need time. 

,,My friend.'' I tell him.

My son stays still, like made from stone. We exchange doubtful glances. How much she changed, put in front of a fragile child. Only a glimpse of the confident woman, still wandering in her eyes.

Now, it is more than tactical decisions, political exchanges... now, is the faith of a child.

So brittle in our fingertips, shaped by war. 

,,You can call me Mustang.'' She adds, after a short pause. 

And Liam jerks, full of joy. 

,,Mustang!'' He turns to Sevro. ,,She said Mustang! That's soooo coool!'' 

,,I bet that's much cooler than the shit name Goblin is.'' Sevro muttered.

,,Sevro.'' I warn him, head tilting to Liam as a subtle reminder that there is still a gorydamned child there. 

But all shrinks until it becomes only a small dot - a little imperfection on our perfect painting about life. Liam stretches his arm to..._Mustang,_ just as I taught him to do, but their handshake doesn't last. A burning was stirred inside my son, that now, full of interest, leaps closer to my fiancee. His voice is a long, vague squeak, that Virginia seems to understand. Now, she is absorbed by the red beam of light. 

I suppose world became small to her, too, when she has his attention. 

Sevro comes closer, propping his shoulder to the wall. 

,,I would cut a whole ass hand for such a friendship as you two have.'' He tells me, a grin looming on his face. ,,Not my hand, though.''

,,I don't think your hand would be enough to pay such a friendship, anyway.'' 

Liam's laughter is so loud, it makes me jump from my place and twirl around to them. Virginia seems as surprised as I am, having her hands on him. 

,,You got BURRNEEED!'' He tells Sevro. 

,,He got...what?'' Asks Virginia, who looks back at me. 

I shrug, mouthing an ,,I don't know.'', as Sevro leans to grab Liam by his shirt. 

,,You are doomed, kid!'' My friend tells Liam, making him leap from his place. 

His little hand is clutched on Virginia's skin, as he drags her along the room. 

,,Come, Mustang! He will kill us!''

,,What about your mom?'' She asks.

,,She is always by his side!'' 

I look at Sevro. 

,,It seems like I am the bad guy here.'' 

,,Don't flatter yourself, Reaper. You are like...'' His gaze go from up to down of my body. ,,The ugly sidekick or something. _I_ am the bad guy!'' 

,,Not if I catch the boy, first!'' I say, loud enough so Liam can hear me. 

,,Faster, Mustang! _Faster!'_' 

,,Plotting against the master, huh?'' Asks Sevro, before launching in front, howling amok. 

And from the other side of the room, my son joins him. 

,,Howl with me, Mustang! Howl with me! Howl with me!'' 

For a moment, everything stops. My fiancee's face pops out of the hideout they found, too tall to hunch enough and our gazes meet. She smiles to me and for that moment, I know she won't do it. Never, in my life, I could've imagined woman of such a calculated grace to ever do a thing as such. 

But she howls, just when Sevro jumps to them. 

I spring to him, falling on the floor with him in my arms. just enough to create space for my cunning son and fiancee to activate their stealth mode and roll besides us, breaking into a mad run just when me and Sevro finally let go out of each other. 

,,YOU RUIN MY PLANS!'' He accuses me.

,,Then do better ones, sweetheart!'' I tell him, jumping on my feet and bounding to the two enemies. 

Everything seems so simple now. 


End file.
